Dear Myself.

I recently received a letter from my 13-year-old self in the mail.

You may think that to receive a letter from yourself from years ago would be exciting and cool, but I will tell you rather the opposite in my experience.  I don't recall writing this letter while I was at bible camp (I know, what??) but apparently I did and some kind person held onto it in some filing cabinet for the past 15 years or whatever and then shipped it out to my parents' house.

At first, I was excited to open it and see what insights my idealistic, youthful mind might behold.  But I was sort of condescending to my future self right off the bat.  It started something like "maybe you are struggling with self identity" and I was like, WHY would you think that you pretentious little snot?

It went on to lecture me of the value of self worth, which was actually more sad than anything because it served to remind me that I really had no friends at that point in life.  Finally, it cumulated in a list of "Things to Never Forget" which referred to events that I've already forgotten and therefore, it held no meaning to me.

The idea was really a cool one, but I think that at the ripe age of 13 I had no clue how time can change a person.  How could I have known?  After all at age 13 I still secretly collected Pokemon cards, was obsessed with Star Wars and Harry Potter and went to bible camp.  My grasp on reality was tentative at best (although, when I described my 13 year old self that way I feel like I haven't changed at all... except the bible camp part).  What I'm trying to say is, my 13 year old self and my 26 year old self were total strangers and we did NOT get along.

I'll end this blog post by asking you the reader not to take any of this as some serious metaphor for how we lose the child inside ourselves.  My inner child is not dead, just my inner awkward, obnoxious, confused teenager.  And that is really a good thing.